Always The Hero
by PoppyPotter
Summary: A selection of different characters thoughts whilst Harry is using the Pensieve in Deathly Hallows and their reaction to Harry "dying". I've just completed Hermione and Ron- Ginnys next. please r&r!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hi everyone, this is one of the longest things I've written here- basically it's just the moments leading up to and after Harry's "death" from different character points of view. Please read and review – I've spent a lot of time on it and really want to know if it's any good. Anyway, thanks for reading this and ENJOY!**

Always a Hero: Hermione Part 1

Eventually the tears stopped falling but she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes again; to see the corpses surrounding her, corpses of people she had known, talked to, and been friends with…

_**Colin Creevey- his body mangled and bruised.**_

Her head was resting on Ron's shoulder and as he nudged her ever so slightly she knew she had to leave the confinement of her mind to face the reality; they were, after all, in a war.

_**Tonks- pink hair, pale, for once silent- unmoving.**_

_**Remus Lupin- a father to a new born son- aged but for once looking at peace.**_

She looked up into his blue eyes and her heart ached for him. She had seen that look, that grief in Harry's eyes but never, not once in _his_. She wanted to make a joke, or shake him, or grab a time turner…anything to take away the pain he had at losing a brother but she knew no matter what she did or said it would stay. And not just till the end of the night, the grief and loss would always stay with him-change him, just as it had changed Harry. Harry, who had lost so much, who meant so much to her…

Tears filled her eyes again and she looked towards the Weasleys; Mrs Weasley crying uncontrollably- the loss of a son making her ancient in pain, Ginny staring defiantly away from her brothers body, George who looked…well…as though he had died too... A statue, a ghost: pale and transparent in emotion.

She felt for them, for all of them but ( and she was ashamed to admit it ) she felt a small relief that the bodies and bodies lined in the great hall did not include Harry or Ron – yes, it was selfish but without Ron she would …_die_… melodramatic for a girl who lived in a world of logic but it was, quite simply, true… she had never been the kind of girl who dreamt endlessly of that white wedding, rather she lived in a world of books and yet with Ron, things were… _different_. She remembered watching him walk out the tent, how pain had pierced her heart, how it had been hard to go on—yes Hermione thought, without Ron she had no… anything …she was no one but a girl with bushy hair and too much intellect. Ron brought out the other sides to her; humour she never knew she had, he could make her scream with anger, make her laugh until she couldn't breathe…

As for Harry, he was more than just the best friend that she sometimes understood better than herself; he was her family, her brother and in all truth without him, her and Ron were lost- who else could unite them like he did, who else would tolerate their bickering and help them see sense… without him they felt utterly alone…

Like now.

"_Where's Harry?"_ Suddenly broken from her reverie Hermione felt her heart pick up pace- Ginny was staring at her and Ron demanding an answer – they were, after all, supposed to be a trio- always together-_always._

She turned to Ron, her worry mirrored on his face _"he should have been back by now shouldn't he?" _they silently communicated their fears – Harry wouldn't give himself in would he? _He has more sense than that_ she told herself and yet a small voice in the back of her mind couldn't help but point out that he was Harry, _Harry Potter_-forever the hero.

And suddenly her mind blanks out again, her thoughts reeling her in so that she doesn't hear Ginny scream at Ron, _at her,_ she doesn't hear Mrs Weasley crying out for Ginny as she runs out …

Her mind is flying back down memory lane, looking for the clues to tell her that Harry, no matter what, wouldn't leave them and hand himself in…

_First year and she remembers him tell Neville he's worth so much more, he helps her see there's more to life than books and good grades, he opens her eyes to a world of friendship and self-sacrifice and already at the age of 11 decides to fight on the side of the light._

_Second year and he risks his life for Ginny, for everyone and once again saves the day, third year and she watches him conquer his fears and meet his past._

It's ten minutes to the hour now but he should be here. He should be here.

_Fourth year, now and her mind travels to the second task – he could have come up first but no, he stayed to rescue the young Gabrielle._

Harry. Always the hero.

Hermione's hearts starts to pound.

_Fifth year and he suffers in silence before defying all logic and risking his life to save another, now rewinding a little she suddenly sees him alone in the attic of Grimmauld Place._

He could never take the guilt even if it wasn't his to bear. Her heart seems to be playing a death march. She was never one that paid much mind to intuition- she didn't make decisions based on what her gut told her- it was always fact, fact, fact. So it didn't matter if her gut and heart were screaming in fear- he wouldn't go. There was five minutes left to the hour. He wouldn't go.

He wouldn't.

_Sixth year and he knows he's the chosen one- she remembers admiring his bravery as he tells them about it without a flinch, a tear- he's ready to fight for what's right._

There's two minutes to the hour.

She'll see him soon, right?

Her breath becomes ragged- her mind begins to spin- memories fly everywhere, each blending in with the next- _"I want to go with" he says after hearing of Mad Eye's death, "follow me" he calls out to the Muggleborns in the ministry, "go then!" he shouts at Ron._

There's one minute to the hour. And she remembers hearing the pain and fear in his voice that maybe he's failing Dumbledore and none of this will end…And then clock strikes. The time has gone and passed and the whole world seems to spin but Voldermort is yet to speak.

_Broken images- his wand- his hope- broken_- it's getting harder to breath-_ break out from Gringotts- he sees that Voldermort knows- no plan- _she can't hear anything over the blood rushing in her ears, her heart beats faster- he wants to end it all – no- Harry, her heart cries out, no- the pictures in her mind become more blurred and blurred as Harry's words ring through her ears: _"because, sometimes you've got to think about more than your own safety! Sometimes you've got to think about the greater good! This is war!"_ she can feel it in her heart, and for once she believes it, she knows where he is and her heart breaks - something's gone wrong, she knows, she knows it- only for once Hermione Granger doesn't want to be right…

**If you got this far then…Please, Please review!**

**Next chapter is the rest of Hermione's reaction then I'll do other characters.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter **

**Enjoy and please Review.**

**Hermione part 2**

"_**Because, sometimes you've got to think about more than your own safety! Sometimes you've got to think about the greater good! This is war!"**__ she can feel it in her heart, and she knows where he is and her heart breaks - something's gone Oh, so terribly wrong- only for once Hermione Granger doesn't want to be right…_

**"Harry Potter is dead"**

For a moment every soul seemed to have frozen- and to an outsider it may have looked like as though there were no living souls in the Great Hall at that moment, only rows and rows of corpses with crowds of statues surrounding them- blood stained and pale.

The moment, however only lasted a few seconds, before the reality hit like a storm, like a bludger on the face, like a splash of icy water- wake up it was saying, wake up and face the fact that the world has finally lost its last hope, its hero, her Harry.

**"Harry Potter is dead"**

The words resounded in her head…

**Dead**

…over and over…

**Gone**

…each time like a knife in heart…

**Forever**

Pain, Pain so deep it hurts to breath, hurts just to stand, to think.

It hurts to be alive.

And then the memories come flooding back again, but she just wants them to stop, just stop already! But they keep coming, over and over, bringing scalding pain with each one…

"_It's only dying a bit later than I would have, because I'm never going over to the Dark Side! I'm going through that trapdoor tonight and nothing you two say is going to stop me!"_

Suddenly, she felt Ron grab her arm – his face laced with tears.

Ginny was already ahead of them, her feet pounding on the floor, her footsteps echoing on the floor, drowning in the loss of her one and only love. And nobody was an outsider on this grief, nobody felt only pity and no pain, no they were all grieving-together for the loss of Harry Potter- their last chance, their lost hope and even the cynics amongst them who had claimed to always know it would end this way felt a piece of themselves dying with the boy who had lived.

As for Hermione herself- she felt her feet move of their own accord pulling her forward, yes, she had guessed, assumed that harry had gone to…to… but there had a been that small part of her that had hoped that she was wrong or that even if he had gone he would make it, he would survive, after all he had defied the laws of science, even the laws of magic before…

He had survived so many situations where anyone else would have crumpled, when others had expected him to fall, he had risen, and risen, again and again – his will to live for what he believed in, for those he loved had always been so strong, so unbreakable that she thought, perhaps deep down she had begun to see him as invincible as the superheroes that featured in those action movies her dad had loved so much but the truth was he was just a boy, a boy who had been through so much, yet loved life so much more.

"_I still can't believe you gave that money to Fred and George" Ron had said. "I told you before," replied Harry "everyone needs a laugh, we need to live, smile, laugh, especially now…"_

And he had been loved; only maybe he hadn't seen it, maybe it was her fault that he was able to walk away from this life – so ready, so quickly- he hadn't even waited to kill Nagini – or even say goodbyes and so what did that say she asked herself?

That she and Ron had failed him, perhaps they had, maybe they hadn't told him how much he meant to them, to all the Weasleys, to every member of the D.A, he had touched so many hearts and yet he had left them and she couldn't help but it feel it was all he fault.

_The sun shone bright, they were sitting under the tree- their tree. Ron was reliving the match, harry was watching, his hair blowing, his face for once free from worry, she smiled with him. There was a war brewing out of the castle but here under this tree they were just three teenage friends and she'd swear he was happy… _

The pain began to intensify.

Maybe he felt he had no one to stay alive for- he certainly wasn't scared of death she knew but if he knew how much he meant to her, to Ron even to McGonagall who was crying out for him at this very moment then why did he walk so easily to his own death? _"If you want to go back, I won't blame you" he had once said but they had told him then and many times since that they would be there, always. _Hadn't they done enough to show him they would always stick by him, that they would always be trio, no matter what he did or said? So what gave him the right to walk away now and take this part of his journey alone?

_It was after first year; she saw his uncle and was shocked at how anyone could be so unpleasant. "bye, have a good summer!" he called waving as he walked away and despite only having a summer of torture ahead he smiled before walking away, his back to her fading away out of sight. Their first goodbye..._

What hurt most- (apart from the fact that harry could walk away so easily away from his life) – was that she had started to believe, really believe that he would make it and end it all once and for all. He would get married and so would she and Ron and their families would be bound together by love, laughter and happiness and not death, pain and grief.

He was amazing and brave and courageous and one extraordinary wizard and her love for him as a friend, as a brother had made her really believe he would be able win this war…but he hadn't…he was gone…forever…leaving them behind to what …fight?...live?

_"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?" "Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious…"And together they walked back through the gateway to the Muggle world_. And once again _they went their separate ways, but it wasn't goodbye, not really. They would meet again. Soon._

His lack of palpable fear, his determination to win and conquer all had managed to blind her, managed to give her hope. Hope which was now crushing down within her: not fast and painless, but slow and torturous, killing her, bit by bit.

Should she have had more fear for him? Should she have never let hope be built? Because this pain… it was …raw…and Oh, it just hurt and hurt- it seemed silly now that she had ever shed a single tear before now, it was naïve to have thought she had witnessed pain, because she might have seen it in others eyes, might have thought she felt, but this pain, now, real, and unstoppable was worse than any physical pain the world- it was the pain of a heart crying out.

And the world might be crying too, she thought, listening to the hundreds of footsteps behind her, but they wouldn't cry for harry, just Harry, a friend a brother, no they cried for Harry Potter; the chosen one, the boy who lived, and others that she could see in the distance could be crying from laughter at the death of undesirable number one but to her, he was and would always be Harry, just Harry. Plain and simple.

_Fourth year, finished and he had been through so much, but Harry was no longer just her best friend- over the past year they had grown closer and as her feelings towards Ron developed in a completely unexpected and unpredictable direction – her feelings towards Harry solidified; he was her brother- blood meant nothing- and so before they parted once more she kissed him on the cheek like she would a younger brother._

He was a boy who lost his parents at the age of one, had a childhood filled with hatred and yet still managed to have love and compassion instilled within him. She knew when people spoke of Harry in the future; they would undoubtedly talk about his courage and about all his heroic feats: some would still see him as a hero; others may question his actions, his sanity even. Whilst others may even laugh at him as a boy who thought he could save them all.

Hermione however would remember the look on his face after his first Quidditch match- an image forever engrained in her mind- he had looked happy and free and most of all proud that he had achieved something on his own. To him defying Voldermort more than once-Starting as a baby was not worth praise and she knew he would hate to be defined by every heroic moment of his life. So as she screamed out for him with Ron and Ginny- she felt herself break into a thousand scattering pieces…

And she mourned not only for the loss of a true hero (like everyone else), she cried out (in a voice that could shatter any heart) for Harry, to boy who gave chocolate frogs to his friends just to make them smile, the boy who despite never being loved knew the true meaning of friendship – and had lived his life for them, and their friendship.

_Fifth year finished, and they had all stood around him- united for him. And although he never said it she always knew what he wanted to say and at that moment looking into his eyes she knew that he appreciated it more than words could say. Only she wondered if he could read her eyes just as well and notice how they tried to hide her concern for the pain he would nurturing alone throughout the summer…_

The boy who knew how to forgive friend or foe…

_He had sworn he would kill Sirius. He had let Peter Pettigrew go…what more was there to say?_

The boy who was just as human as any other

_He screamed and shouted and it broke her heart looking at the growing pain in his eyes- wondering how much he could take and then Sirius had died and she watched him suffer through it all again._

A boy who yes, had his faults but was still remarkably special

_They were at Shell cottage and she was in pain and fear 24/7 but the thing that amazed her the most was Harry, his calm and collected demeanour, she felt a pang of loss as she thought how he no longer needed her to fit all the pieces and then a rush of pride as he for once decided not to act, at least not yet._

A boy who had turned into a man, before her eyes-a man who learned from his mistakes, learned to be patient.

_She watched him twirl Ginny around as he kissed her there and then, brave, indeed since Ron was in the vicinity but no one could ever deny Harry was brave. And she knew then if Ron had said anything she would have set something much worse on him than birds- after all she had just seen her brothers eyes glow with warmth after a very long time._

Learned to laugh again, learned to love.

Learned what it was like to have a family- and loved it. And knew more than anything that family was the most important asset of a person- more important than money, or glory or anything the world could offer.

_She had come to Ginny's room to get something when she looked out the window- the sight melted her heart. Harry with the rest of the Weasleys, laughing, joking- one of them- she watched as Molly tried to push his hair down and the twins tease him, Arthur clap him on the back. She smiled- Harry had found his family._

And so as the tumult of noise reached its peak and as emotion whipped over Hermione like a harsh sea more powerful than any Cruciatus curse and just before the crowd broke out in revolt she closed her eyes, one last time, for just a moment…

Harry was flying high over the ground, over the Quidditch pitch that was not far from where she was at this very moment, his hair blown back- he looked happy, blissful, and free and she knew he was pounding with adrenaline. Gryffindor scored- the crowd cheered. She saw him pump his hand up in triumph, his hair sticking up, a smile on his face, she watched him turn to Ginny beaming at her then to Ron, before flying directly overhead her and waving, just waving…

_**Goodbye, Harry she thought…**_

"_You said to us once before, that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We've had time, haven't we?"_ Gasping for air she opened her eyes he own word echoed in her ears she had promised to fight with Harry and she would fight now for him. Determined she looked up at the death eaters surrounding the body of her friend, her brother- yes, she would fight for him after all a friendship that began by knocking out a troll was hard to break…

**A/n: sorry if you think this one is too long or dragged a bit- personally I'm not really happy with it but let me know what you think and please review! Anyway, Ron's next and then Ginny I think.**

**Also thank you to anyone who put this as a favourite and a special thanks to ****cubye4 ****for my review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**This is my first one in Ron's point of view, which I found slightly harder to write as I wanted change the tone from Hermione's. Anyway, hope you enjoy and please review!**

RON- PART 1

_Noise. So much bloody noise._

His body was still tense, his head throbbed, his heart ached.

And the bloody noise…

He listened in to all the sounds, trying to pick out the individual voices as though from far away.

"Colin, no, Colin! Wake up!"

"She'll be alright…I think… I hope"

"I'm so sorry"

"Nothing we can do"

"…dead"

Crying

Weeping

Tears- Noisy- Soundless- Death-Fred…

Ron chanced a look at his brother, he wanted to shake him, scream at him, tell him to wake up already! The joke was over!

But Fred Weasley would never wake up…

He had seen it happen

He was there

And he had let it happen…

A feeling of revolution as thick as bile rose up within him- what sort of brother was he?

And for the first time he understood how Harry had felt about Cedric, about Sirius about Dumbledore…

He understood why Harry he had looked so hard for way to find Sirius again, why more than anything he wanted a resurrection stone.

He understood the mixed feelings about wanting to be left alone and at the same time needing those around you to help validate the pain- for you to know that you really, have lost that person and unfortunately it's not just a dream that you'll wake up from.

**He understood, only he didn't want to.**

He wished he didn't have to stand here over his brother's dead body, with his mother losing herself in grief, his father crying, actually crying all for the eldest twin. He wished he didn't have to look at George and feel pity and fear and grief instead of the usual burst of laughter that accompanied any meeting with either twin.

He wanted this to end. He wanted Fred to wake up! Now!

But if there was one thing he knew, it was that Fred Weasley would never wake up, never walk, or talk, or laugh again.

And George would never really joke or smile or laugh again.

**The joke really was over.**

And suddenly he felt a burning rage take over him, he hated them, the lot of them and he wanted revenge. He wanted them to feel pain, physical and torturous- wanted them to feel how every time he thought of Fred he felt as though a million knifes were falling all over him, wanted them to feel they he had when they had tortured the love of his life- like his world was ending, right there and then.

If only he knew where Harry was they could go and end it all and he would make sure he took as many of those bastards as he could.

He looked around again, his eyes wandering over the crowds of mourners, he felt a sudden jolt as he saw his ex-Lavender her face distorted, mangled. She may have been annoying and yes a little possessive but she didn't deserve this- none of them did. Feeling sick he turned only to be faced with another disturbing sight- Ginny…

He looked at her properly for the first time in months- she was no longer a child she had grown, become a women he could see that now , it was something maybe he should have realised earlier but that wasn't what scared him, what made his breath catch in his throat.

Her hair was cut- roughly by the looks of it and what was remaining cascaded messily behind her, her robes were singed, her hands dirty with rubble, her face pale with a startling red gash across her cheek.

_What had happened to his little sister?_

He saved her eyes for last- scared to know what they held- pain like his own? Anger? Blame?

What he hadn't anticipated was the questioning glare she sent him- "Where's Harry?"

The words repeated in his head "where was Harry?"

Fear bubbled within him and he could swear for a moment he felt as though his heart had stopped beating.

And so he did what he always did when faced with an unanswerable question- he turned to Hermione.

He looked into her eyes- her face was pale- and he could see quite clearly he inner turmoil, aware that Ginny was within hearing distance he communicated with her in a way that they were both used to.

The silent question, then dawning realisation, a flash of pain in her eyes, before they went black, she had shut down on him not hearing Ginny question and scream at them, both, together, united…

She didn't notice how the hall went quiet, how his shoulder sagged with the weight of his sisters question and the answer he couldn't give that yes, he knew where Harry was and he was perfectly fine. Safe.

At first he was angry at his sister, angry because she had had every right to be angry, angry because she was right, how could he have let harry go alone, yes, he was mourning for his brother, but harry had always helped or been with him and Hermione never mind if his insides were breaking. So yes, Ronald Weasley was angry at his sister because she had let him see how he had let Harry down- again.

But then he saw the pain in her eyes, he saw her love for Harry and for the first time he regretted opening her bedroom door all those months ago – she had needed that time, those memories- especially if harry…but no he wouldn't let himself finish that thought.

_He and harry had their arms around each other, laughing. The relief that Harry had survived the first task still fresh, the adrenaline too was still flowing, only the antagonism that had been there till that morning had disappeared. They were brothers, and nothing could tear them part, nothing._

**Nothing was going to happen to harry. Nothing.**

"Ginny" his voice came out raw, pleading and yet somehow insufficient- _what was he supposed to say?_

She however didn't wait for him to form the right words instead she turned on her heels running out of the great hall, his mother got up "GINNY! Come back…PLEASE!" But it was too late and as the door thudded close behind his sister, he turned to watch his mother collapse on to the cold floor- a heap of grief and pain. His father crouched down beside her, and to Ron he looked more grey and lined than ever before.

They were good parents, no, maybe they didn't have money but they had given him and his brothers love and what more could they want or need? Every day of his childhood had been filled with laughter and love…

_He was five, Ginny four, the twins six, they were out in the yard playing and planning a prank on their older brothers, laughing Ron through his head back, Ginny looked at him and rolled her eyes- she was four but she had cheek. Later the whole family came out, they couldn't afford holidays like all the other families, but unlike others they sat together as a family in their garden, laughing, talking, and listening to Ginny whine to hear the story of the Great Harry Potter._

What if Harry had given himself in? a small voice within him asked. But, no that couldn't be true, because no matter what he could not, and would not lose Harry- he was his brother, his best mate and without him what did he have?

Sure, he already had five brothers but without Harry he knew he would be utterly and completely alone- he thought about how he had grown up- he had been happy yes, but he had also been the outsider, the youngest brother.

He thought about his brothers, they all seemed to be in close knit pairs. Bill and Charlie had always been close, they shared some of the same friends in Hogwarts, they had grown up together, the two eldest Weasleys.

And then there was Fred and George- the ultimate pair, together forever- anyone and everyone knew that they lived for each other. Ron sighed, he loved them both and was closer he realised to both of them then any of his other brothers, they may have joked and teased him but when he needed them they were there- always. Yet still he could never really be part of that bond they shared- it was theirs and even he their brother couldn't make the twins become a trio.

Then there was Percy- the loner, whilst everyone else blamed him for leaving the family, for some reason Ron could never be as verbal or physical in showing his feelings about the situation. Sure, Percy was a pompous, prick for leaving but as much as he hated to admit it, he understood.

Like him Percy grew up being one of the odd ones out, alone and so was it any surprise that it was easier for him to leave the family then it would have been for Bill or Charlie or the twins.

But even then Percy had had his brains, his super, annoying bloody irritating self- righteousness as though he could never do anything wrong – and yeah, that was maddening but it made him distinctive, and in a way made up for his lack of charisma or natural humour.

Both Bill and Charlie had relied on each other through their years at Hogwarts and they both were naturally gifted with brains and Quidditch skills and personality. Fred and George had their humour, their pranks, everyone knew them.

And Ron, what did he have?

The answer was alone- nothing.

But with Harry, he became someone, Harry brought out his best characteristics, made up for his obvious lack of tack and together (with Hermione, of course) they were unstoppable.

He imagined his life if he Harry hadn't been there… he would have been an outsider, alone, never best at anything forever alone. Dean and Seamus would have naturally been friends; he couldn't see himself having the same friendship with Neville as he did with Harry- so what would he do? Tag along with the twins? They would accept him just as they did in fourth year but still he would be alone.

But Harry** had** come in to his life, he reminded himself. He **had** sat in that train cubicle and their friendship had been born over a pile of chocolate frogs and boxes of Bertie botts every flavour beans.

And he wouldn't let him go- he wouldn't- Because Harry was his brother, his brother God dammit.

**So they couldn't take him away, they just couldn't.**

Harry had been in every letter written home and after Ron's first year at Hogwarts for the first time he didn't feel like an outsider in his own family. He didn't try unnecessarily to follow Fred and George around, didn't try to make them let him be part of their pranks. They had each other, he had Harry. And when they rescued him from the Dursley's he felt the same way he did before he felt before sacrificing himself on the giant chess set – Like he had gained a brother, after all you only went through so much for a person you cared deeply for- and so as he watched Harry became part of his family, joke with his brothers, talk with his father and gain a mother within his mother he felt for the first time as though his family was complete- and he belonged in it.

He closed his eyes for a second, breathing in.

**He couldn't lose another brother tonight. He wouldn't.**

_They were in the hospital and Harry had just left, and as the doors swung close behind him, Ron suddenly felt scared; scared he had lost his friend. Harry might have been through so much, but he had never had the dead look he had now as though shutters had closed behind his eyes blocking out everyone, including him. But then he remembered that this was Harry, he always told him and Hermione before doing something- always._

Just then though before another thought could form, he heard the great hall doors open- hopeful he turned only to see not Harry but Ginny followed by a very confused looking Neville.

They both rushed towards him and his heart began beating faster. Was Harry…? But, no, if Harry was… Voldermort would want to make it known, make it public.

So why did he have a rock forming in his throat just by looking at his sister running towards him, if Harry was … she would be crying, hysterical. But now she looked- determined, which meant… what? That there was still hope?

And then she was right in front of him. "Have you seen Harry?" he asked the words running into each other, trying to keep in time with his speeding heart.

She nodded- "Neville has, he told him something, only we don't …we don't know what it means"

The fear in her voice was palpable; he would have to be brave, for her. But first he had to know what Harry had told Neville, and why had he told Neville, why not him or Hermione?

"So…what did he say?" he said turning to Neville.

"He, well, he said something about killing the snake…"

**Ron's heart skipped a beat.**

"… In case neither of you or he can…"

His head understood the words, knew what they meant.

But his heart, his heart would not accept it.

He had said hadn't he that he wouldn't lose another brother.

**So he wouldn't. He wouldn't.**

He looked around, people were mourning- no one realising just how much more they would have to cry.

He looked at Hermione- she was breathing hard, tears pouring, had she heard too or did she just know, the same way deep down he had known?

His mother was lying over Fred.

They had lost so much, and yet, they still had so much more to lose.

Why? Why? The anger returned to him like a ravaging beast, he hated them the lot of them.

Breathing in he tried to focus, again, on all the voiced around him.

He could sense Ginny watching him, demanding answers.

Heard Neville's mumble, jumble of words as though from far away.

"I hope it's nearly over" someone said

"It will be" Said another.

Yes, Ron thought for Harry it would be and that meant it would be the end for him to- after all a person could only lose so much before losing themselves and if he lost Harry he would lose himself, he knew that better than anything…

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it and sorry if the end seems a bit rushed. Also thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, or put this story on your favourites or alerts. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter. **

**Ron-part 2**

There are some moments in a person's life when suddenly everything seems to stop; time, life, everything. And in this moment a person may suddenly wake up and wonder how they got where they were, how did every moment, every action lead up to this one life changing event.

For Ronald Weasley, this moment came with the words that rang through the air spoken by a cold, vicious voice telling him that his best mate was dead – gone- forever, just like Remus and Tonks and …Fred, Harrys name was now amongst the names of the dead, of those brutally murdered, never to laugh or smile or walk again.

And as he stood there frozen in the moment as his world crashed down, Ron was surprised to find that rather than ignite, the raging fire of hate within him seemed to diminish. He felt defeated, lost, what purpose did he have now? His whole life since Hogwarts had been spent with Harry, his brother, he had vowed to himself that they would fight side by side till the end- the possibility that Harry would ever die, had been a foreign, unheard of thought. Until tonight.

Slowly, movement came back to him; the crowds once again surged in volume and noise, louder and louder. He grabbed Hermione's hand- he wouldn't lose her too, he had lost too much already, felt too much, and he wanted out, wanted it to end. And so he ran after his sister, pulling Hermione, who he realised seemed to be lost to the world of reality, seeking protection in her mind, just as he let his mind wonder as if he were looking for a hidden clue, a shred of hope that Harry might still be alive, but deep down he knew it was impossible, despite being brave and courageous and having a knack of surviving the most dangerous situations, Harry wasn't immortal. And something he knew even better than this was that nothing, nothing could really bring back the dead, when they were gone, they were gone.

Gone, forever to place where he Ron could never meet him, to tell him everything he wanted- like how more than anything he was sorry, so sorry for all the times he had let Harry down.

In first year he had been a true friend to Harry, in second year he had stood by him whilst others doubted him, in third year he was there as Harry came to terms with his past, but in fourth year he had let the devil within him win and he hated himself for it. Hated himself more now than ever because he knew there was no chance of redemption now that Harry was gone, forever.

_The excitement that had been in his body moments before had been replaced by an icy cold monster that was ravaging within his body, bigger and bigger. And what surprised him was that he was happy, happy that the monster that he had harboured in his darkest hours had finally been released and that he had a reason to show it free, he had been a ticking bomb that had finally exploded. And so when Harry walked into that dorm room with a Gryffindor banner tied around his neck, knotted tight-unbreakable, he found himself not listening to the logic of his head telling him that Harry could never have put his name in the goblet, or the small part of his heart that was saying "he's your mate, stick by him no matter what", instead he let himself harden his heart and chase away his best mate. And as time went by, and the first task grew closer Ron felt himself slowly pull away from Harry, he had the twins but it wasn't the same, this didn't mean he repented his actions at least not knowingly. _

_Hermione, he realised stayed with Harry by his side and yes, she talked to him but she was with Harry most, devoting her time for his survival whilst he Ron wallowed in self-pity… and yet as much as he tried to deny it even to himself he cared about Harry's fate, hated the Slytherin's badges, and most of all he missed Harry, his laughter and Quidditch talk, the two of them teasing Hermione, going to Hagrid's together, bad-mouthing Snape… and then suddenly the first task came and all these feelings he could no longer hide, he was scared for Harry, scared he would lose a brother…he had promised himself then he would apologize say sorry, but Harry hadn't let him, instead he welcomed him back with open arms forgetting how Ron had abandoned him. And so that day Ron had made a promise, a promise he would never again desert him…a promise that he would break three years later…._

Running with others feet pounding on the floor Ron tried to rid himself of his self-hate, but it was something he couldn't fight. The burning within his heart, his yearning to feel physical pain and to give pain to those others who like him had hurt Harry, physically or emotionally the difference was irrelevant all that mattered was like the death eaters standing across the grounds he had hurt Harry and deserved punishment, punishment Harry had he been alive would never give. He was too forgiving.

_They were seventeen now and had experienced so much together, both happiness and sorrow, they had had first crushes and first kisses and first breakups and first loves, their experiences had not been the same, Harry had his first kiss in a secluded room, Ron in a crowd, Harry had kissed the girl he loved and had let her go, Ron had never been more sure about anything, he knew who he loved only he had never kissed her and with a cursed locket around his neck, he had begun to doubt the girl he loved and the best mate deep down he knew was smitten with his sister._

_The rain poured down that day, as though the heavens were crying for the loss of friendship. The air had been cold, biting but the atmosphere inside that tent had been worse than any natural occurrence, there had been pain in that tent as words they would both later regret were spoke. He remembered Hermione urging him to stop, the pain in Harrys voice, the moment when he felt something had broken within them as though he and Harry could never again be friends, forget brothers. _

_A part of him had expected Hermione to choose him, they were no longer to fourteen year olds going through the painful time of puberty, but she had chosen Harry…again, at first he had been angry but in hindsight he knew she was right, she always was._

_And then months later he remembered seeing Harry drowning, remembered the fear, the pain and pang of loss that was only an inch of what he felt at this moment. And he, Ron had saved him. Harry had forgiven him, thought that this one action made up for everything, what he hadn't known was that Ron had saved him for himself, because he had known without Harry he could not survive._

"Then go" Harrys words still resounded in his words to this day, but he knew he had been the one in the wrong, not Harry. And yet, Harry had forgiven him without question, without letting him say the words he wanted to scream out now "I'M SORRY!", Harry had found light in every situation, had seen only the good in him and without even trying the string between them that had supposedly broken had been mended, seamlessly. It had been Hermione who had taken time to forgive and he knew he deserved it, he knew she wasn't punishing him only for herself but also for the pain he had caused Harry and he deserved it- he knew that.

From that moment he had vowed he would make up for his actions, he would help Harry find every one of those hocruxes, he would forget the hunger, and pain and worry for his family, and instead he would put all his energy in making sure Harry would win the war.

And again he had failed.

He had let Harry go out alone, let him walk to Voldermort , he had let him die. He wasn't conscious of doing it but as he walked out the doors of the castle, and as his eyes made out the shape of Harry's dead body, he screamed out- loud and pain- fuelled. Hermione he realised was also screaming and the pain broke his heart, nevertheless he was glad she had awoken to the reality rather than block him out by hiding in her own mind.

He wondered what they would do now, Hermione was both emotionally and physically weak, he himself was drained and tired- lost at what to do now. Harry had always been the strong one, been the one who stood up for others, who spoke up even at his own expense. But now Voldermort, was defaming his name, speaking words that he knew were not true- because Harry would never run away from danger, he would never run whilst others suffered. The words spoken brought back that anger in his heart- how dare Voldermort lie about Harry?

And so before he even knew what he was doing, Ron screamed out against Voldermort; "He beat you!", it was reckless and dangerous, stupid and brave but he knew he was right- his grief for Harry was overpowering and he knew it would never leave him, but he also knew that he would never as long as he lived let anyone say anything against Harry, the most forgiving brother and friend anyone could have. Yes, he thought, Harry might be dead but he would live forever alive in his heart because in every action he did from this day forward would have the memory of Harry engrained within it...

**A/N; I hope you enjoyed this, please, please review. Thanks to everyone who already has reviewed or has put me on their favourites/ alerts. Ginny's is next, which I'm looking forward to writing and then maybe Mrs Weasleys.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Ginny-part 1

_Her head was nestled in the safe haven of her mother's arms and sleep was pressing down on her eyes but Ginny Weasley would not go to sleep, no, she would not succumb to sleep until her mother answered all her questions about Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived … "what do you think he looks like?", "will he be okay, you know without a mum and dad?", "but, how did he do it?". "Will he go to Hogwarts?"… The questions were never ending, and Ginny was convinced she loved him that day, today she still felt that love but instead of loving a name she loved a boy who had turned into a man before her eyes…_

Once upon a time the great hall of Hogwarts had been a place filled with laughter and happy chatter, at the beginning of her sixth year however, Ginny began to watch it wither to a place of fear and hatred and punishment and now she stood here again only now within a hall of death and grief.

She could not bring herself to look at the dead body of her brother, could not bear to let herself succumb to the tears that were threating to spill, whilst others relished in them, let their bodies shake with emotion she held herself tall- the war was not over yet, there was so much more to lose, so much more to fight for.

And yet it was hard not to cry, it was hard to stay strong and breath, hard to resist the urge to just fall to the floor and just let every inch of pain in her body pour out, because that's what she wanted to do- she wanted to cry for Remus and Tonks and her dear, dear brother, she wanted to cry for her mother, for her father and most of all she yearned for someone's arm to be around her, to hold her tight.

Years ago, these arms she yeaned would have been her mothers, now her heart, her every cell was yearning for her love, her Harry, more than ever before. Only was he really _her_ Harry? They had broken up and yes, she knew the reasons why but still, he had never, well and truly been hers had he? He had always been Ron and Hermione's- they were the ones he confided in his deepest secrets, the three of them would never part, they would be a trio, always. And she wasn't jealous, not really, he had become a brother to Ron and she knew he thought of Hermione as his sister- the three of them would always be best friends and she didn't want to interfere but what she did want was what she hadn't had in the past months: Harry.

_The moment she stepped out her eyes sought one person and one person only and they when they found him she felt her heart skip a beat- she wanted to run into his arms and stay there and as her brown eyes met his emerald ones she felt herself lose herself to past memories…_

And even without Ron and Hermione, Harry had never been hers freely or she realised theirs, his past, his present and (until he ended this) his future was Voldermorts and she hated it, she wanted it to end, wanted the pain to stop, wanted him to be free from being hunted or being the hunter, free to start a life afresh with her, with Hermione and Ron, side by side- together.

The thought of a better life however, only brought the tears closer to falling so she turned around, opening her eyes and really seeing for the first time, seeing the rows of dead and the mourners surrounding them, she looked everywhere except for the place she knew her brother lay, the pain was too much. Finally, her eyes sought her other brother, the one she had not seen in months, Hermione stood next to him, of course they would be together, but _where was Harry?_

Panic began to bubble up within her and she tried her best to repress it, she was good at that now- repressing emotions: it's what she had done when Ron had gone to Hogwarts and she was left alone, it was what she did in her first year as she lost her self to a vindictive murderers memory, it's what she had done every time her eye caught his, and the first time she kissed a guy she did not like, it's what she had done in the ministry, and when Harry had broken her heart. It had also been what she had been doing since September as she watched her class mates be cursed, as she saw the Carrows watch her, as she thought of Hermione and her brother and her emerald eyed Harry.

Yes, Ginny was good at repressing emotions but that did not mean she would not go confront her brother, because she had to, she just had to know where Harry was. Of course, she was ready for the answer she expected, Ron not meeting her eye, falsely telling her everything was fine, whilst all the time hiding the truth because she wasn't part of the trio- but she would get the truth of him, she had to.

And so she walked up to brother, ignoring her hearts whisperings about how Ron had changed, how she had missed him too, she ignored the part of her that wanted to ask him if he was okay- emotions would lead her nowhere.

"Where's Harry?" she demanded- she knew her words sounded harsh and cold, but it was better like that. Better to hide the pain, than let him see that inside she felt like a little girl all over again. As it is Ron out of all her brothers was already able to see through most of her facades, he was the one who had noticed that despite all her laughs and smiles and banter with the twins, or wedding talk with fleur she was hurting about Harry, even her mother hadn't noticed. But Ginny didn't blame her she knew her mask was perfect in every way, except of course when it came to Ron which was why at this moment she needed to act as strong as possible…

The clock ticked. Mourners shook with tears. The dead stayed still. She wanted an answer. But she was met only with silence, and a look on Ron's face that began to make her resolve shake…

She caught him then staring at Hermione, watched their silent conversation.

Her heart began to beat, faster and faster.

The mask was falling, slipping. But no, she had to stay strong…strong…but how? How could she stay strong now, when her brother's face clearly said he had no idea where Harry was?

She screamed at him, screamed at his pitiful face, pale and dirty, she didn't understand the words that came out her own mouth, she didn't know what she was saying or why she was saying it. All she knew was that Ron had let Harry go, let him go…only where?

And then quite suddenly something clicked and Ginny turned on her heels running out of the great hall of pain, not hearing her mother's pleas for her to stop and to please, please come back.

Outside the great oak doors, Ginny tried to take deep breaths to calm herself to push the pain and momentary certainty that Harry had indeed given himself away to the back of her mind, because he couldn't, she thought about the way he looked at her, how it made her feel as though he was seeing right through her soul, no, he wouldn't leave her, he wouldn't.

Rearranging her careful mask she took a good look at her surroundings, the corridors were mostly empty but she guessed there would still be some injured that needed help, help that she would provide.

_She was nine and had just come home from the train station, she missed her brothers already, it was like dull ache within her heart, the house which was normally bursting with energy seemed to have died, the weather was cold and bitter… but something was also on her mind, or more like someone else; Harry Potter…_

Ginny mentally shook herself she could not let herself go into realms of the past, she had to be objective, she had to help…but it was Oh, so hard…

_Harry Potter, the Harry Potter was in her house, her house, as in the burrow, her mind raced, her heart began to pound. Please don't do anything embarrassing, she urged herself over and over again. Too late for that another voice said, you just ran out of the kitchen...Of course, to Ron and the twins Harry Potter wasn't Harry Potter anymore, he was just Harry and according to them he was great and to Ginny as much as she hated to admit it, anyone who her brothers liked were bound to be great, after all they did have good tastes…_

Wake up, she ordered herself, she saw a fourth year boy sitting and staring at wall, he had blood stains on his hands- "you need to help" a voice said so she went there and touched his shoulders, wanting him to wake and move, go to the other mourners, "please…"she whispered, not knowing what she was asking for, this boy was in pain, he had seeked comfort in his own mind…who was she to interfere? She waited there for a few moments and then finally the boy spoke in a low voice, as if to himself _"it's all over"_

And she knew he was right, she could feel it, there was no hope left in this grey and broken castle, it had lost its magic, so what was the point in pretending anymore? What was the point of staying awake, when there were better times in your memories? Why not visit them and stay there in happier times?

_First year, second year she had still held a candle in her heart for him, but she started to like him not for his name but for his humility and kindness, for the way he smiled, for the way he looked so absolutely free as he flew on his firebolt…_

She's walking slowly in the castle and there's a question that wants to get out, but she pushes it back, refusing to acknowledge it...

_And then her third year came and she still held hope, hope that was slowly dwindling away, she talked to Hermione, gained a friend but also awakened to the harsh reality that he had his sights set on someone else. So she kissed another guy, and found her first boyfriend, but all the whilst she still watched him battle his fears, and was amazed at how he had forgiven the betrayal of her brother… _

The castle felt for once completely and utterly silent, no ghosts wandering around, no portraits talking, no peeves joking…just pure and total silence as if the world had gone to sleep.

_Her fourth year brought his faults, faults that made her see more than ever how he was just a human, just the same as them all, she watched as his best friends feared him (and she hated it) so she spoke up and he listened and inside she smiled._

She hears owl in the distance- it makes her jump, draw out her wand.

_She heard about his first kiss and his disastrous first date in Madame Puddifoots, and she felt hurt for him but also couldn't help but smile, he deserved to be with someone who knew he would rather not go to a place with pink fluff… _

Her blood begins to pound she can hear someone around that corner, her heart beats just that little bit faster…and that question at the back of her mind is still dying for an escape, an escape she won't give…

_And then in the summer after her fourth year she realised how they had grown closer, how now he was her friend and she was happy, happy she had found such a wonderful friend…but then sixth year started and she was with Dean and yes, in the beginning she was happy, but then one day she realised she had started to notice the way he laughed again, she began to notice that she was noticing too much for a girl who had a boyfriend and then she noticed how when she looked over at him at these times, he was often looking at her._

"Ginny?" she jumped, pointing her wand, fear nestling in her chest.

_She remembered feeling his gaze on her, remembered the feeling of bliss and confusion…could he really be falling for her?_

"It's me Neville", relief, pure and utter relief… "Oh" she says "I'm sorry… I thought…"

"It's okay, I know what you mean but there's a girl down there, she needs help could you..?" he asks.

She nods and makes her way down, feet echoing along the cold floor…

_And then he used that stupid curse and he wouldn't meet her eyes (why?) so she stood up to Hermione for him and she'd swear she saw him smile…_

She's kneeling by the little girl and her heart wants to break but she keeps a straight face, she has to… "I want to go home…" and now her heart really does break, she doesn't know what to day so she says the truth, and for the first time in a long while speaks says exactly what her heart wants…

_And then the Quidditch match came and she won it for him and then he walked through that door and everything fell away and she saw only him and she ran and he caught her and they kissed and her hands were in his hair and he held her tight and it was heaven…_

She can feel him there in that moment, she's sure he just passed her, but looking around she sees no one, _does he know he's breaking her heart?_ She feels the tears coming and this time she lets them, she had felt him then in a way no memory and only reality can, she sits there for a while holding on to a stranger and they both cry together for everything they want; to go home, for this war to end, for their loved ones to be near.

Eventually the tears stopped and Ginny stood up, she needed her family and they needed her and together they would find Harry… and then she heard the word Harry, turning around she found her self facing Neville.

"Did you say something?" She asked

He looked at her, eyes uncomprehend able…"I was just thinking about what Harry told me, must have spoken aloud without meaning to…you must have seen him, he went your way…"

She felt the blood drain from her face, Neville stared at her understanding she needed to know and so he spoke and he told her and she felt her heart break, again and _again (how many more times could a heart break?),_ for some reason she knew the words couldn't mean any good, but she couldn't be sure and so she sewed herself back up, locking those emotions and grabbed Neville's hand, she needed to find Ron, now.

The next few moments in Ginny Weasleys life were blur. She walked in to the hall of grief, she sought out the only brother who held the answers, she questioned him, she gauged his reaction, and she released the question from the back of her mind from its prison…

"**Where was Harry?" **

And this time she knew the answer without having to think, she could feel it, hear it in Hermione's gasps for air, see it in Ron's face- and once again she felt her heart scatter into a thousand smaller pieces but this time she didn't bother to hide the tears, the end had come, they had lost everything, there was nothing else to fight for…

**A/N; This was the longest one I've wrote so far and also one of the ones I've been looking forward too, only I'm not sure it came out as I wanted it too. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think. Once again thanks to anyone who reviewed, favourited or put this on your alerts! Also, I was thinking of doing Molly and then McGonagall and then maybe Hagrid…only I'm not sure who else to do so please give me some ideas! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer; I don't own Harry Potter**

GINNY-PART 2

Tears began to edge towards her eyes- bursting to be free.

The world was ending.

And then the words were spoken; "Harry Potter is dead"…

And now the world had ended.

* * *

It was like the world had stopped, just for a moment and in that moment a lot of small things happened. First there was silence, complete and utter silence. And then slowly as though each word Voldermort spoke was a filter; all the hope and life in that Great Hall seeped out, leaving behind a sea of lifeless souls, suspended in a moment of a disbelieve. And within all those crowds a certain red head had an epiphany, she had lost her one and only love… and though she was usually the picture of strength, today in this moment she, for once cried. She didn't want to, didn't want to cry, she didn't want to succumb to the grief, the pain, the loss and… the love, and heck, more than anything she didn't want to **have** to cry, she wanted him **alive**, so that she could wrap her arms around him and be safe, just safe.

But Harry was gone, gone forever and it was all over. None of them would be safe. And even if this war did end, Harry was gone and so she knew deep down she would never, ever be able to smile, and she meant really, really smile again. She would never hear his voice being whispered in her ear, making her feel a way only he could…

_They were in the common room, surrounded by a sea of people but the mere fact that she was wrapped in his arms made all else fade away. It did not matter that half of Gryffindor were there, it didn't matter that her brother was there, sending them odd looks every minute. All she knew was this was where she belonged; in his arms. She had been happy with Dean, yes, but never, never had he made her feel the way she did now; as though she was in a haven of love where no one could ever harm her, where for just a while the brewing war was at bay. _

And it was ironic wasn't it? That she felt this way in the arms of boy, no, man now, who was at the centre of the very war that threatened her in her sleep, forcing her awake. After all, there was so much to lose, so much, but with Harry the tragedies that the world could bring, the things and people it could take had seemed like a distant, dormant snake that she had forgotten could strike at any moment.

And the snake had struck hadn't it? In this war she had already lost so much, her brother, her home, her school, herself even and now she had lost the one thing she never imagined she would… Harry… so what was the point of anything now? What was the point when everything had been lost? What more was there to fight for?

And so she let the tears come, fast and thick and she hoped with her whole heart that all the pain within her would be able to pour out with every tear and every footstep that she made as she ran out of those old oak door towards the corpse of the man she loved…because this, this what she was feeling now, was… was what exactly? Pain staking? Indescribable? Torturous?

Yes, it hurt, hurt more than anything yet at the same time it hurt less than anything, strange but true. Ginny felt all those emotions that those around her would expect her feel, the pain and loss and grief but she also felt exactly as she had in her first year… like a shell of herself, hollow. The insides of her, what essentially made her_ her_, was numbed, gone….lost…. just like Harry… Harry who had meant oh, so much to her… so much…

She closed her eyes thinking back to the dreams she had let her mind conjure in her fifth year after every evening spent with Harry…they would be together, bonded with love and happiness, they would get married and he would wear dress robes and she would wear a long, white dress… they would kiss and it would be perfect, they would dance and they would laugh and it would be heaven. And her family would laugh and Fred and George were whooping and the noise was getting louder and louder and there were… cries? Abruptly, Ginny opened her eyes and took in the dark surroundings, the grief, the pain… she felt a pang of loss that she did not understand- after all how can you explain the pain of losing a dream?

_She closed her eyes again for second, remembering Harry in all his incarnations; he was eleven and was asking her mother for help, his smile shy and nervous and then before she knew it a year had passed and he was in her house, and he had grown just a little bit taller, and she noticed his smile again; happier than before and yet there was something within them that seemed to radiate a sadness, but she was only eleven, so what did she know? And then throughout his third year she watched him change more, (although of course he never noticed her) and she watched his smile again, watched as it became less and less seen and more and more accompanied by worry and sadness, but then third year ended and as they left the Hogwarts express she saw he had for once a real smile, a smile that lit up his face and made his eyes shine brighter than normal. _

_And now, she saw him at fourteen, and her brothers not talking to him and she notices how even on the rare occasions that he does smile, it doesn't light up the emeralds in his eyes like she once saw, and then it was his fifth year, her fourth and she became his friend and every time she saw his eyes she saw his pain, his grief, his anger; she had just begun to bloom, he was at an awkward stage of trouble and sorrow but still there were times in the D.A that she saw how his face, lit up and a ghost of real happiness appeared… sixteen now, and she remembers noticing how he had grown so much taller, his body more lean and his once skinny figure was now more toned and well-built, his hair was of course the same, but what amazed her the most was that in those weeks that they were together, she saw his face repeatedly light up in happiness, his eyes would shine as emeralds and she loved she could make him feel that way, what she hated was not soon after fate struck and once again she was forced to look at a smile, that did not reach his eyes… but then again he was Harry, the real world would never let him smile freely, he was fate's target- always…_

There had been a time in her life when Ginny had believed in fairy tales, in happy ever afters, a life, a love with no problem. Back then Harry had been a name, just a name and yet his name managed to capture her heart, her dreams. As she grew up though she learned that life was not all butterflies and roses, there were thorns too, thorns that drew blood, thorns that killed…

And so she had made herself strong, fiery and passionate, she knew of the horrors that the world offered, she knew you don't always get want, she understood that Harry may never had looked at her than more than Ron's sister.

_But he had. And once more she was lost in dreams. He had kissed her, in front of all of Gryffindor, he had kissed her and after a series of stolen kisses behind her brothers back and quiet afternoons by the lake she had once again begun to believe in happily ever after…_

She had been prepared to move on from Riddle's haunting dreams, she began to fight for what she believed in, she made friends with the weirdest girl in her year, she was prepared for taunts, (that never came), she was prepared to watch Harry walk on the arm of another girl, she was even prepared for him walking away, because she knew deep down it was his destiny…

_Yes, he had made her believe for a short while in the world of fairy tales but she had always known deep down it wouldn't last. It was Dumbledore's funeral and somehow something in the air had changed, Hogwarts had changed and so did Harry, she could see it. In his eyes, in the way they lingered on her a second longer than normal, in the way that when she caught him looking at these times his eyes wouldn't hold the same peace, the same happiness, the love was still there, she could see it, but what she also saw was pain and loss and apprehension. Apprehension that told her everything that her heart had already sensed… she remembered his words, still knifes in her soul, she remembered the pain in his emerald eyes, the pleading for understanding, she remembered him looking down at his hands, she remembered wishing she could hold him, and then he was walking away, his back facing her and she remembered wanting more than anything to call him back. Yes, he had let her live in a fairy tale, but then he had showed her what she already knew. Life wasn't a fairy tale, and happy endings? They didn't exist._

What she hadn't been prepared for was this, Harry, her Harry, dying… going away from her forever, taking with him everything she was, everything that had kept her alive all these months. Taking away her hope, her hope that told her there was a future for him, for her together_…_

_She was sitting on a swing on a porch, there was a faint breeze, he was sitting next to her, arms around her, hands resting on her blooming stomach… _

But he was gone now, and hopes of a future, of a life of love and happiness were seeping out of her, just as the fire within her extinguished…

And so she let the tears fall now, in earnest. Trying desperately to find herself within the tangle of memories and pain and lost dreams and love all within her shell of a body. She wanted to know who she was, she wanted to understand, she wanted to understand what she was feeling, she wanted the sick feeling in her stomach to go, she wanted the pain to stop! Because it was, Oh, so painful. And she wanted it to stop and she wanted even more than that everything to make sense. Because at that moment, the world was spinning and spinning out of control and things were wrong, all wrong, because Harry, Harry was supposed to be alive.

_It was his seventeenth birthday and they were in her room, he wouldn't meet her eyes. Her eyes that so desperately sought his, but the seconds passed quickly before he was suddenly holding her, and she had her arms around him, and they were kissing and it was magical and time seemed to stop and everything made sense, only the door swung open and with it a world of war and pain and grief. And so for once she turned away first, saving herself the pain of having to watch him walk away… again._

Ginny, suddenly opened her eyes, taking in her surroundings, she was running towards the front doors, and there were crowds of people behind her, their feet echoing, deafening…the doors were getting closer now, closer, and then they pushed open and she saw what she had been dreading, Harry, her Harry laying at the feet of Tom Riddle.

She had loved Harry. She still loved him now. And she always would love him.

And the pain his death brought to her, was more than words could comprehend, because quite simply it was matters of the heart, of love, the most powerful thing in the world. Something that Harry had had in abundance, something his murderer would never understand, something that would make her fight with all her heart and soul. But the fight would come later, now though she screamed out in pain and love and sorrow, she cried for past memories, for lost futures, and most of all for Harry, _her Harry_…

**A/N; Firstly, sorry for the long update I've been really busy revising for my exams, also I had writers block until finally I got inspired by a song I was listening to (Don't wanna cry for you-PeteYorn). Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter- I like most of it but I don't think it flows well. And once again, please, please review and thank you to anyone who already has or has put me on their alerts/favourites!**


	7. Chapter 7

Minerva McGonagall

Part 1

* * *

She had never had children of he own, and so the students of Hogwarts became like_ her_ own children; she taught them everything she knew, she was strict but fair, and most of all she loved them, loved them as though they were _her_ own and she also knew there was dangers in this, dangers that were showing themselves now as she saw crowds and crowds of _her_ children injured, as she saw rows and rows of _her_ children lying dead…because each body, each child there bloodied and battled worn made her heart ache, made guilt feel her lungs so that she felt she was drowning, made her head pound with the fact that she had failed.

Perhaps if she had not cared so much, if she had not loved them as though they were own, she would not have felt so much, perhaps if she hadn't been fiercely proud of their achievements, at their decision to fight, maybe then the guilt wouldn't have been so bad, the sense of failure might not have been so overwhelming, if only she had never spent the majority of her life waking up in this very crumbling castle and vowing to protect its students, vowing to lead them to the light…

But she had cared, she still did and she always would and so looking at every corpse adorning the floors of the great hall, watching all the injured she felt for the first time her resolve shake, her perfect mask that both allowed her to hide her emotions and appear in control slip ever so slightly at the sight of the dead…

**Remus Lupin**- he had been a brilliant student, a werewolf and yet one of the most kind-hearted people anyone could meet…

Beside him **Nymphadora Lupin**- his wife, as beautiful in death as she was in life, only for once in her own natural form; hair brown and long, soft cheeks and a heart shaped face…

**Colin Creevey**- without doubt one of the most annoying students she had ever had the_ pleasure_ of teaching. He was also one of the bravest.

**Fred Weasley**- the soul of Hogwarts for the 5 and half years that he was there- along with his brother of course, they had made her proud, made her smile and yet now he lay stone cold whilst his broken twin stood over him and his mother lay in a crumpled heap at his feet.

She sighed, pain stabbing her heart like a knife, how easy would it be to just walk away now, to pack her tartan bag, grab her hat and walk out those gates, leave Hogwarts behind, leave the pain and the guilt and the failure of an unwinnable war behind…

_Only she wouldn't do it. _

Because if she did, she wouldn't be her, she wouldn't be Minerva McGonagall, fearsome Head of house, and because more than anything, if she walked out those doors she would be saying she had no hope.

**When she did**

She knew they were going to win this war, and they were going to win because of one Harry James Potter.

She didn't bother searching her eyes over the crowd for him because she knew deep down that he would not be there, he would be somewhere working out the mysteries that were left by Dumbledore and when the time was right, when he had his weapon he would strike and he would win.

**She knew it. **

She knew it because Dumbledore had said it and Dumbledore was _never _wrong.

She knew it because she had watched him over the past seven years prove her wrong over and over; he had shown her that the** impossible was possible.**

And _maybe, maybe_ he had also showed her how an innocence of a child can be broken and _maybe _he had reawaken a fire to fight for the right in her, and _maybe, just maybe_ he might have found a place in her heart for him, a special place that made her want to grab him from this war like a child and wrap him safe and faraway, _maybe _despite showing her that the **impossible was possible** he had still managed to make her fear that all would not be well, that he would die and the outcome wouldn't matter for he would not be there…

But **no**, that couldn't happened because Harry Potter was not Harry to her, he was Mr Potter, he was not a child, he was a man…a student, yes, and so obviously she cared for him but not anymore than any other student and **no**, there was no fear in her heart because Dumbledore had a plan and so Harry would win.

He would win because he had his mother's heart, and his father's courage and both their determination and if she knew him as she thought she did, he would be out there now, not walking to Voldermort but finding his weapons, finding the truth and he would succeed because like she said before, he _was_ his parent's child…

Lily and James Potter. Both part of the organisation that went by the name of the Order of the Phoenix, when Dumbledore had first approached McGonagall on advice on whom she thought they should offer " membership" too, they were names that came to her first; Lily, one of the brightest witches of her age , she was also vivacious and brave- the only person that could put some control on the ever scheming James Potter, who was himself both courageous, a transfiguration genius and the ring-leader of the group that went by the name of the Marauders. She had been particularly fond of both of them, even James who had spent half of his time at Hogwarts at the receiving end of her stern gaze.

When they had graduated and they attended Order meetings, her relationship with the two changed from student and professor to children and parent especially at the loss of their own parents. She had attended their wedding, had been there the day Harry was born and had sworn to James that when Harry finally started Hogwarts she would look after his son, she would keep him out of danger, she would protect him, she would make sure his was happy just like a grandmother would a child…

But life got in the way, what shouldn't have happened did- James and Lily Potter died and the role McGonagall was supposed to have in the emerald eyed boy's life was lost forever.

She had hoped he wouldn't have to stay with his aunt but he had and he had suffered but she could not say that she cared because what was she but a widowed witch who was getting on in years, how could she have defied Albus Dumbledore- her mentor, her friend, the most-powerful wizard of all.

And then he had started Hogwarts and what was she to do? He did not know much of his past, if anything at all- how could she have said "if things had been differently you would be by only family"…

_He had been small for his age, just like his father before him, she saw him nervously try to flatten his hair; he looked so scared, gazing up at her with fearful eyes, he was much too skinny for her liking, and there was a small part of her that noted had things been differently, that fear need not be there, he would have winked at her perhaps, a habit caught on by his father or maybe he would have waved and told his friends how he knew her- she would have given a small smile…_

**But she hadn't. **

Because he wasn't Harry, practically her grandson, no, he was Harry Potter, orphan and the boys who lived…and yet, still _just_ another student. So, now just like then there was **no need** for her heart to beat so fast, **no need** for palpitations or sweaty hands as she gazed at the clock; **10 minutes to the hour. **

_She remembers him trying that sorting hat on, remembers the scream of Gryffindor- the pride she felt that she wasn't supposed to, because he was just another student. _

**7 minutes and 32 seconds to the hour**- there really was nothing to worry about, nothing to worry about because really **the impossible was possible.**

_She was supposed to be working, supposed to be writing to the parents of a Gryffindor sixth year but she also knew first years would be flying and she was curious to see how James son flew, so she stood up, walked around her desk and stared out the window. What she saw caused a flurry of emotions that she did not understand; fear for the child, pride at how well he flew, nostalgia as she thought of how proud James would be… and so she practically flew down the mazes of stairs to reach their and see him- she told him off, and she put him on the team, all the whilst bursting with excitement; there was so much she could have told him whilst they walked but she never did because really he was just another student._

So why did her heart jump to her mouth when he was nearly thrown of his broom?

**5 minutes to the hour**

Why did feel a part of her crack when he lay in the hospital wing in his first year and then nearly every year after? 

_He was hero; she knew that, she always had- who else was ready to fight, ready to die for what was right from the age of eleven? He had saved his best friends sister, he had fought for what he believed in, he had faced challenges beyond his age… and suddenly a burning recollection of walking him to the first task of the Triwizard tournament burned in her mind- she had felt indescribable fear that day and for once she had let him see that she cared, she really cared…_

But why was her throat suddenly constricted in fear? 

Why was she watching the Weasley's and Hermione like a hawk? 

_She thought about how her heart had ached when he had walked out with Cedrics body, his leg mangled and his face strewn with blood, dirt and tears. She had yearned to comfort him and yet it was not her place, perhaps it was meant to be in another life, but right then she was merely his teacher and he just another student…_

But that was lie.

**2 minutes and 15 seconds to the hour**

He was more than just another student

**1 minute and 55 seconds to the hour**

He was the boy, man now that was supposed to be her grandson

**1 minute and 10 seconds to the hour**

He optimised everything she believed in

_She watching the Weasley's and Hermione now_

**1 minute to the hour**

He respected her

**30 seconds to the hour**

And she loved him like a son- because he was more than just another student

**And now the hour had come**

Silence

**1 minute past the hour**

More silence

So why was she tensed as if for battle?

The time wore on, and still silence, she looked around - surely if something had happened to Harry it would have been mentioned by now.

So maybe there was **hope.**

**It was 10 minutes past the hour now**

He would survive, and she would tell him the story of his parents, of their love, she would tell him how much she cared and all would be well…

So why was the face of Harry Potter engrained, as though she would never see it in life again?

"**Harry Potter is Dead"**

And just like that one short sentence, with four short words caused a war of emotions.

**A/N; I haven't updated this in months because of serious lack of inspiration, but hopefully I'll be able to update more regularly now as long as I don't have any more writers block. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this, thanks again to anyone has reviewed, favourited or put this on your alerts. Please review! **


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